Defending your stance

April 4, 2017 — 4 Comments

When somebody tries to speak into your life, do you get defensive? Especially when you’re hearing the same message from different people?

The moment you become defensive your mind starts closing to another way of thinking and this could be exactly what you need to hear and act on to go to the next level.

Your perspective will defend itself.

If what you know is all you know, it may not matter if it’s true or relevant.

For many years my wife and more recently the people I work with have been trying to tell me to be more aware and vigilant about the amount of time I spend with people. Whether that is on the phone or in person; for business, at church or in the grocery store.

I have defended myself for most of those years claiming that I want to give people my undivided attention.

I am finally learning that you can give people your undivided attention in less time and that having time barriers makes me and them much more effective.

A few years ago several people on my team were telling me that I should be more focused on marketing and sales and bringing in more business.

I used a couple of things to defend myself and my stance in this regard:

  1. I didn’t want to continue being the the main person responsible for bringing business into the company. I wanted to raise up other people to do this.
  2. I wanted to make sure that we handled the business that came in with a standard of excellence and therefore I justified limiting the amount of business coming in until we could consistently deliver that standard.

While both of these perspectives were sound, the bottom line is my team was right. I needed to take responsibility for bringing more business in. If you’re not growing you’re going backwards. And at the time we were not growing and therefore going backwards. The way to get better is by taking action and learning and adjusting as you go along. When you do the thing, you learn how to do the thing.

I wish these were the only examples I could give you, but over the years there have been many others.

I’m finally learning to listen with an open mind. And not only to listen but to actively pursue and solicit feedback from those around me. – What can we do differently? What am I missing? How can we get better?

What are people trying to tell you? Are you paying attention and listening to them with an open mind or are you, like I was, defending your stance?


Robin Lewis


I buy into and have been a student of leadership for over 30 years. I am the president and Principal Agent of Robin Lewis Insurance, a full service Independent Insurance Agency. I'm also a member of the John Maxwell Team My passion is for life-long personal growth and to help others to do the same. Your comments are encouraged and welcomed here anytime!

4 responses to Defending your stance

  1. Based on my experience, the moment I become defensive , I am trying to justify the mistake that I’ve done or just too arrogant to listen. I have learned that humility is a virtue that everyone should possess. We should remember that we came from nothing and to nothing we will depart. While we have the time, we have to learn to listen even to people, without exception, because we can learn a lot from everyone. Knowledge can be acquired not just by getting the highest degree that a person can get but from a lot of things, from the person’s God given wisdom and from their varied experiences, their hardships in life, etc. The key to a good communication is the ability to listen. When a person is saying something, listen. Normally, what a person tells you is a reflection of your character, how people perceive who you are. Some may be negative but ask yourself why. Remember, what you reap is what you sow.

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